Open The Eyes Of My Heart
by Iamokota
Summary: Blinded and orphaned by scarlet fever at the age of 7, Bella Swan has lived her life in darkness. The only sun in her darkened world is her best friend, Edward Masen. Edward harbors a secret love for Bella, but society dictates that they can never be together. With sickness and war raging all around them, can their love somehow still find a way? AU. ExB. Chicago, 1918.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Edward or Bella. I'm just using them for my own devious ends. XD**

**A/N at the bottom.**

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Chicago, August 1918**

**EPOV**

"Edward."

A wide grin spread across my face and I turned from my piano to face the young woman standing in the doorway of the parlor. She was thin and beautiful, with dark flowing hair that framed her pale heart-shaped face and fell in luscious waves down her back. I loved to run my hands through it and feel its smooth texture flowing over my fingers. She often complained that she was going to go bald someday with all the tugging I did on her head. It never failed to bring a smile to my face

I checked her over once, as I always did when I first saw her, to make sure that she was still whole and unharmed. She was wearing a dark blue dress that billowed out around her. Unlike most other dresses, however, hers never quite touched the floor. Though not fashionable, it was a necessity.

As I strode toward her, I looked into her eyes and smiled, though I knew she would never see it. I was again pierced with the heavy sadness that always washed through me when I looked into her dark brown eyes and was reminded that she was blind.

"Bella," I greeted as I politely took her hand and kissed it delicately. She smiled then, placing her palm lightly on my forearm and allowing me to guide her to the sofa. I waited until she had perched daintily on the white cushion before I sat and turned to face her. She lifted her hand, as was customary, and I leaned toward her and allowed her fingers to roam over my face, letting her 'see' my expression. She frowned as her hand ran over my forehead, feeling the worried lines there.

"What's troubling you, Edward?" she asked in her low, silky voice. She placed her hand on my cheek and stroked it lightly with her thumb. I sighed and covered her hand with my own.

"Father has been at it again," I said, trying to keep the bitter edge out of my voice. I couldn't fool her sharp hearing though.

She smiled sympathetically. "The same argument?" she asked.

"Always." I closed my eyes wearily. "He doesn't understand why I keep refusing their advances."

"I don't either," she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. I opened my eyes as she took her hand from my cheek and folded it in her lap. "You are a respectable young man with a bright future, Edward. Any young lady would be quite flattered to receive your affection." Her expression turned thoughtful. "What about Mary Eastman? I've heard she's quite beautiful. She let me touch her hair once, at a party. It's very soft, like silk, and it smelled of apples."

I snorted with laughter. "She hasn't got enough brains in her head to fill a thimble, Bella. All she's concerned with is fashion and gossip and when the next ball is going to take place. I have no use for a frivolous little girl such as her. I need a woman with intelligence, a woman who understands me."

_A woman like you_, I thought, but didn't voice out loud. She did not know that my affection for her ran any deeper than that of one friend to another and I had no intention of informing her of the truth. She and I both knew that my parents, and the rest of our society, would not approve. Her disability made her untouchable for me, and no amount of affection on my part could change that fact. If I was ever to voice my feelings to anyone, my parents would surely find out and I would be barred from ever seeing her again. The very idea of it was too painful to bear and I quickly shoved it all aside.

"You will find someone," Bella said confidently, unaware of my brooding. "I'm sure of it."

I smiled half-heartedly, but didn't answer and she seemed to feel the sadness in the air.

"Will you play for me?" she asked enthusiastically, effectively lightening the mood.

"Of course," I said, standing and offering her my arm. She let me lead her to the piano and she sat in her usual spot beside me, placing her hand on my forearm as I readied my fingers over the keys. She loved to 'watch' me play and I loved to let her.

It was always these times that I played my best music. The feel of her soft hands gripping my arm seemed to energize me and give me confidence. I looked up thoughtfully for a moment and then smiled brightly as I decided what to play. I had been working on a new piece for some time and, just the night before, I had finally felt that it was finished. I peeked over at the beautiful girl sitting next to me and began to play.

As the music swelled around us, light and dancing to begin with, I watched Bella's face. She had closed her eyes after the first few bars and lowered her head, listening intently as my fingers flew over the keys. I was suddenly nervous as I watched her. Of all the opinions in the world, hers was the one that mattered the most. And on this particular piece, it was especially important. After a few minutes, I closed the piece, ending it on a poignant chord. I watched her apprehensively, wondering what she was thinking.

"Bella?" I asked uncertainly. She opened her eyes then and I was shocked to see that there were tears glistening there. As I watched, one slipped down her cheek. "Are you okay?"

"That was…beautiful, Edward," she whispered. I reached for her hands and cradled them in my own.

"You were my inspiration," I said softly, watching her face intently. She looked astonished and flattered. "I've been working on it for almost a month."

"Thank you," she said with a brilliant smile. She pulled her hand free and waved it in front of her searching for my face. I caught her fingers and placed her palm on my cheek, stroking the back of her hand gently. I wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumb, relishing in the smooth texture of her skin. My hand moved down her cheek to her neck and I could feel her pulse there, racing under my thumb.

"Edward…" There was conflict raging in her voice and she bit her lip uncertainly. I watched her, mesmerized. She dropped her hand into her lap and I moved mine to her cheek, cradling her face between my hands. She sucked in her breath unevenly and all rational thought was suddenly driven from my mind. For the first time in my life, I didn't care about the rules or about society. I didn't care what my parents thought or what everyone would say about me. I was simply a man who was in love with a woman and I was suddenly seized with the overwhelming desire to kiss her.

I searched her face carefully, but I did not see rejection there and I leaned forward eagerly and pressed my lips to hers. Her hands flew to the sides of my face and my stomach plummeted. I felt sure that she was going to push me away.

I was wrong.

She kissed me back passionately, stroking my face softly and running her fingers through my hair. I put my arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer to me, whispering her name tenderly whenever we had to part to breathe. Nothing in the world had ever made me feel so alive. The places where her lips and her fingers touched my skin felt as though they were burning. I was losing myself in her touch and her kiss – I was in heaven.

And then, without warning, I was in hell.

"Edward Anthony Masen!"

The happy bubble in my chest abruptly burst as my mother's angry shriek filled the room.

**

* * *

**

A/N: So, in case there is any confusion. Edward and Bella are living in 1918 in Chicago. They are both human and Bella is blind.

**Please let me know what you think! I love reviews! XD**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Edward or Bella. I'm just using them for my own devious ends! XD**

**A/N at the bottom. Full Summary is coming soon. XD**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 2 – Chicago, August 1918

**EPOV**

"_Edward Anthony Masen!" _

_The happy bubble in my chest abruptly burst as my mother's angry shriek filled the room._

I quickly pulled back from Bella and stood from the piano bench, feeling the heat rising in my cheeks. My mother was staring between us, her eyes wide with horror and her hand pressed over her mouth. I stepped in front of Bella, shielding her from view as my father advanced towards us with his hands balled into fists.

"What is the meaning of this, Edward?" he asked, his voice trembling with anger. He stopped a few feet from me and crossed his arms over his chest. "Have you gone mad? Do you know what this will do to your chances of finding a suitable wife?"

Bella whimpered softly from behind me and I suddenly felt irrational anger raging through my veins. "I don't care," I snapped.

My father's eyes widened in surprise. "What did you say to me?"

A wave of guilt washed over me for my disrespectful tone, but I could not calm the anger still pounding in my ears. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to control myself. I could feel Bella trembling behind me and I longed to turn and comfort her, but I knew that it would only fuel my parent's fire and give them even more reasons to bar me from seeing her.

"I will not tolerate this, Edward," he said through clenched teeth. I opened my eyes cautiously. "You have gone too far." I waited with dawning horror as he paused and took a deep breath. "You will not see this…this _girl_ ever again. Do I make myself clear?" He glared at me, waiting for me to agree, but I was frozen with horror.

With an angry huff, he stormed from the room, past my mother who was still standing in the doorway with her hand over her mouth. As I stared at the place my father had disappeared, she shook her head and began to cross the room toward me. I sank onto the piano bench next to Bella and put my arm around her. She buried her face in my shoulder and began to cry in earnest. I patted her back, trying to comfort her, but I knew I was doing a miserable job. My heart felt like it was breaking in two.

"Edward?"

I looked up into my mother's eyes and was surprised to find that she didn't look angry or reproachful, but merely sorry. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"I'm sorry, dear," she said, placing her hand on my cheek. "But you know this is for the best." Her eyes flickered down to Bella, who was clutching the front of my shirt, still sobbing. "Say your goodbyes, Edward. I'm sure your father has gone to call a carriage to take her home."

I nodded glumly and she strode away. I waited until I was sure she was gone before I turned and put my other arm around Bella. I pulled her closer and rested my chin on the top her head, stroking her hair softly.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." There was a lump in my throat that was making it difficult to speak, but I couldn't clear it. Anguish was ripping through me, leaving my heart in shreds. Bella pulled back and smiled slightly, her unseeing brown eyes piercing me through with sadness.

"You mother is…right," she said, her voice breaking. "It's for the best. You deserve someone better than me, Edward. You deserve someone whole." By the time she was through, her voice was barely more than a whisper. The sadness on her face snapped something inside of me.

"How can you think so little of yourself?" I asked, outraged. I took her shoulders and shook her gently. "Bella…I don't care what I deserve. I don't want someone I _deserve_. I want you."

Her mouth opened in surprise and she raised a hand to my face, feeling my expression. As her hands roamed over my cheeks, I closed my eyes and sighed.

"This is wrong," she whispered finally, her fingers tracing the shape of my lips. "You cannot throw away your life for…someone like me. It's not worth it." I opened my eyes, caught her fingers, and kissed them lightly.

"It is worth it," I said softly, cupping her cheek with my hand. "_You_ are worth it."

She smiled sadly and shook her head. I opened my mouth to argue again, but I was interrupted as someone cleared their throat from the doorway. I glanced up to see our driver standing timidly against the door frame.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Master Edward," he said, smiling apologetically. "But the carriage is ready. I'll be waiting out front to take the young lady home."

"Thank you, Thomas," I said disdainfully. He bowed deeply and strode from the room and I turned my attention back to Bella, taking her face in my hands.

"I will find a way to make this work, Bella," I said, resolve flooding through me.

"I wish you wouldn't try," she said, her beautiful brow creasing. "It will only make things that much worse."

"They can't keep me from you," I said stubbornly.

"They can and they will." She stroked my cheek lightly and stood from the piano bench. "It's time for me to go."

"Bella…I…" I clutched at her hand, desperate to keep her from leaving. She sighed softly and pulled me in for a hug. My ear pressed against her chest and I could hear her heart racing there. "I love you, Bella," I whispered, my voice breaking.

"And I love you." She ran her hands through my hair and I closed my eyes. We stayed there for a minute, lost in the moment, but, too soon, Thomas was back.

"It is time, Miss Bella," he called. He held out his arm, waiting for her.

I stood slowly and kissed her cheek, fearing that this was the last time I would ever see her.

_No_, I thought vehemently. _I won't let that happen_.

"Goodbye, Edward," she whispered. Biting her lip against the moisture gathering in her eyes, she pulled away from me and crossed the room confidently, needing no guide. She took Thomas's arm lightly and then she was gone.

"Goodbye, Bella," I whispered to the empty room. In the silence, I was sure that I could hear the tearing sound as my heart was rent in two.

**EXBEXBEXBEXBEXBEXBEXBEXBEXBEXBEXBEXBEXB**

**BPOV**

My heart was breaking.

As Thomas led me out of the house, I lifted my chin, determined to put on a strong face for Edward's sake, but I could feel my strength crumbling. The tears that were gathering in my eyes threatened to spill over and I sniffed, trying to hold them back.

Thomas helped me into the carriage and I arranged my skirts around me and sank back into the deep velvet cushion. There, away from the eyes of the world, I could no longer hold back. Tears poured down my cheeks as I felt the carriage jerk forward. The feel of Edward's heartbreak underneath my fingers had nearly unhinged me and the memory brought forth heaving sobs that I could not quiet.

I desperately wanted to believe that Edward could somehow find a way to convince his parents to let him see me, but I knew that it was not possible. From the first moment that I realized I loved him, so many years before, I had known that we would never be together. I was untouchable for him, no matter how much I wished it weren't so. His parents intended for him to marry a pretty girl that would bear him strong, beautiful children. They would never let him be with someone like me.

I was still sobbing when I felt the carriage rumble to a halt and I quickly tried to compose my face, so as not to alarm my helper, Christine. The bout of scarlet fever that left me blind at the age of seven, also robbed me of my parents. I had long since come to terms with their deaths, but it was in times like these that I wished I had a parent figure to confide in. Christine was five years older than me, but I regarded her more as a sister than anything else.

Thomas helped me down from the carriage and guided me over the sidewalk to where Christine stood waiting for me. I took her arm, thanking Thomas as I went, and allowed Christine to lead me into the house and over to the sofa. Once we were seated, she embraced me briefly. The tears I had only just managed to fight off threatened to spill over again.

"What happened, Miss Bella?" she asked, concern flooding her voice.

I struggled to compose myself, but could not prevent the sadness that rang loud and clear in my words. "Edward's parents have barred me from ever seeing him again." Tears began to stream down my face again as I said the words out loud. Christine gasped and I heard her hand fly to her mouth.

"Oh, Miss Bella," she murmured. "I am so very sorry. Why have they done this?"

My cheeks burned and I lowered my head, embarrassed. "I asked Edward to play for me," I whispered, hearing my voice crack. "It was a new piece, one I had never heard before, and it was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. Edward told me that I was his inspiration and that he had been working on it for a month. I am not sure how it came about, but, suddenly, he was kissing me and I was kissing back." I swallowed hard. "I have never felt that way before, Christina, about anyone. It was like…my whole world was on fire. I didn't know that there was any such feeling in the world."

Christine took my hand. "And what happened then?"

I shuddered. "His parents came home." The tears streaming down my face began to fall faster and I swiped at them angrily with my free hand. "And Mr. Masen told Edward that he was never to see me again. Edward tried to comfort me after his parents had left. He promised me that he would find a way to be with me, that they couldn't keep him from me…but I can't let him do that, Christine. It will ruin everything for him. I can't be responsible for that."

Christine sighed and pulled me into her embrace once more. "Oh, Miss Bella."

As I sat hugging Christine, I felt as if my entire world was crashing around me. It was like they had taken away my reason for existence, my very core. Edward had always been the eyes and the sun in my sightless life and, now that he was gone, I could no longer see the beauty in anything. It was like the very blackest kind of night. For the very first time in my life, I felt that I really was blind.

_Oh, Edward_. I silently cried. _My Edward…whatever am I going to do?_

**

* * *

**

A/N: I have changed the timeframe of this story just slightly, in trying to keep it as historically accurate as possible. The only change that I made was going from having the story set in January to having it set in August.

**It doesn't affect anything that has happened in the story thus far.**

**As always, thank you for reading and please, please, please review! They make my day! XD**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Edward or Bella or Twilight. I'm just using the characters for my own devious ends! XD**

* * *

They say that time heals all wounds.

In the weeks that followed my separation from Edward, I desperately tried to believe that the gaping hole in my chest would heal. I threw myself into my day to day life, trying to forget the man who had turned my world upside down. At times, I could almost live normally. I could converse with Christine, take a walk around the block, and sew blocks onto my newest quilt. At times, I was nearly my old self. But always, just when I would begin to feel as if I was healing, something would inevitably happen that would remind me of Edward and the wound would flair, just as fresh and as raw as it had been the very first day.

As a result, I spent the better part of my time lying on my bed, lost in the depth of my misery. I ate little and said even less. I knew that Christine worried about me, and I tried to reassure her time and time again, but nothing I said could erase the worry from her face. I was miserable and no one who saw me could overlook that fact.

Outside the confines of my home, life went on. August passed and September dawned, hot and humid as ever. And with September, there came terrifying news and whispers. It was said that there was a pandemic coming ever closer to Chicago, that influenza was running rampant on our very doorstep. I didn't pay much attention to the news. The pain of losing Edward overshadowed any concern I might have once held for a disease that was threatening nameless people in some vague and distant time.

Midway through September, I celebrated my seventeenth birthday. It was one of my better days, compared to most others and Christine and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was the first time I had felt the sun on my face in more than four weeks and I almost smiled as we walked around comfortably and chatted.

"I've heard that a few of our neighbors have been feeling under the weather," Christine said, her voice worried.

"I'm sure it's just the usual bouts of hay fever, Christine." My tone was dismissive and I heard Christine huff slightly.

She was silent for a moment and then she began again, hesitantly. "I have heard…rumors that…it is more than just hay fever, Miss Bella. They say that many of them are exhibiting all the signs of influenza. The mayor has issued a warning, cautioning people to stay at home and to stay exceptionally clean."

I laughed bleakly. "People get worked up so easily these days," I muttered. "Christine, you worry far too much. Rumors are just that – rumors. I have little faith in them."

"You're right, Miss Bella," she said, laughing embarrassedly. "I'm being silly."

We continued on, chattering about happier matters, but in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder if the rumors were true. A week later, I got my answer.

It was another of my bad days, a day when the pain I was constantly trying to fight had won over me. I could not muster up the will to move and I could hear the worry in Christine's voice once more. And, on top of the emotional pain, the weather had picked this particular day to unleash the heat of its fury. The sun beat down relentlessly. I could feel the heat radiating throughout the house as I lay on my bed. Despite the heavy curtains drawn over my window, I felt as if I were lying directly in the sun.

As I lay there, trying my hardest not to think of anything, I heard a knock resounding through the house. I didn't even bother raising my head. It did not matter to me who was calling. I would not be going down to see them. I heard muffled voices and then soft footsteps on the stairs that did not match Christine's dainty footfalls.

I turned my head to the door, frowning. Christine never let anyone up the stairs, under my direct orders. I had no desire to see anyone and she knew that. Anger coursed through me for a moment – I would have to talk to her about her behavior. A moment later I heard a soft knock on my door.

"Who is it?" I called, my mouth turned down with disapproval.

Instead of an answer, I heard the door swing open and the soft sound of someone stepping lightly into the room. My heart rate accelerated and I opened my mouth to scream, but a hand covered it before I could so much as breathe. I froze. The hand over my mouth was shockingly familiar…

"Shh," said a soft, soothing voice. "I'm not going to hurt you, Bella."

I couldn't move. Six weeks since I had seen him. Six weeks of mind-numbing, agonizing pain. I reached my hands out, without thinking, and I felt him take them and press my palms to his face. I traced his lips and his eyebrows and the creases in his forehead in awed silence, hardly able to believe that he was really there. He seemed to be doing the same thing. His hands traced the shape of my nose and my eyebrows and I felt him touch my lips softly.

"Edward," I whispered. "Edward, is it really you?" I was running my hands through his hair when suddenly my lips were pressed against his. I knotted my fingers in his hair, pressing him to me desperately, like I was dying of thirst and he was the only water for miles. Joy, such as I had never known before, coursed through me. I kissed him back with enthusiasm.

When we finally broke away, we were both breathing heavily, almost embarrassingly so. I sat up and grinned sheepishly and Edward chuckled softly. It wasn't until that moment that I noticed the difference.

There was an edge to his laugh that I had never heard there before. Suddenly concerned, I raised my hand to his face again and reevaluated his expression. There were definite lines there that I had never noticed before and his muscles seemed more tense, clenching and unclenching under my hand. As my fingers traveled over his cheek, I frowned.

"Edward?" I asked, my voice soft and hesitant.

"Yes?" His clear voice was rougher than I remembered. My frown deepened.

"What's wrong?"

To my surprise, he buried his face in my shoulder. I put my arms around him and held him close to me and I could feel his shoulders shaking, as if he were trying very hard to suppress a sob. I stroked his hair, trying to soothe him. Eventually, he pulled away and I could hear his ragged breathing.

I stroked his cheek absentmindedly and I could feel the wetness of tears. As I held my hand there, I felt a fresh tear slide under my thumb. "Edward, please tell me what's troubling you."

Nothing could have prepared me for his answer

"Bella," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "My parents are dead."

* * *

**A/N: And so we come to our first _real_ cliffie. grins evily I really do love cliffhangers, so be warned!**

**On another subject entirely, my updates will not be as numerous, nor as fast. I have just started a new job as housekeeper at a five star hotel and it is definitely taking up nearly all of my energy at the present time. Thank you for being patient and understanding!**

**As always, please leave a review and let me know what you think of this story! I love to hear your opinions, both good and bad! XD**

**Playlist for this chapter:_ Untitled_ by Simple Plan, _Nearer My God To Thee_ from Titanic, _Never An Absolution_ from Titanic, and _Hymn To The Sea_ from Titanic. Oh, and briefly, _You Are My Sunshine_ from O! Brother Where Art Thou.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, or Midnight Sun. I am just using the characters for my own devious ends! XD**

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Chicago, September 1918 - EPOV**

I could practically feel the waves of shock and pity rolling off of Bella as she pulled me to her chest and stroked my hair. A strange sense of contentment washed through me, underneath the grief and the horror that I still had not come to terms with. I let her hold me for a while, trying desperately not to think of anything.

"What happened?" she finally asked, her voice heavy with sadness.

It was the question I had expected and the one that I was least prepared to deal with. I was not a man given to tears, especially not when I was in the company of another, but the shock of my parent's sudden demise was still wreaking havoc with my emotions. I felt another tear slip down my cheek. Her soft, gentle fingers brushed it away.

"It was influenza," I murmured, closing my eyes against the memories. The sight of my mother, lying in her bed and soaking handkerchief after handkerchief with blood, refused to fade from my mind.

"How did it happen?"she asked, fear making her voice softer than normal. I pulled myself up onto her bed, for once not caring about being improper, and put my arms around her waist.

"My mother fell ill first," I said into Bella's hair, my voice breaking. "The decline in her health was very rapid and, within twenty-four hours of first coming down with the chills, she was coughing up blood. Even after her transfer to the hospital, the next day, I had little hope that she would ever recover. Even the best doctor in the city could not do anything to help her. She was dead a mere two days after the first symptoms appeared. My father followed only a week later. The doctor at the hospital, Dr. Cullen I believe his name was, told me that I was very lucky that I had not yet fallen ill."

"Oh, Edward," she breathed. "I am so very sorry." She stroked my cheek lightly and I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of her long hair. It was like a healing balm on my tortured soul and I knew that I would never, could never let her go again, no matter the cost.

"I'm scared, Bella," I said after a while of sitting in silence.

"Why?" I could hear the frown in her voice.

"This epidemic is far worse than the papers are letting on." I said softly. "People are coming into the hospital in droves and a good portion of those leave through the door to the morgue. My parents were the rule, not the exception. This epidemic is only going to get worse before it gets better." I paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "We need to get out while we can."

"But…what about your friends, your life, your future? What would people think if we both suddenly disappeared? You would be ruined, Edward. I can't let that happen."

I tightened my arms around her waist. "Let them think whatever they want! I am past caring what anyone will think. Life is so short, Bella. My parents are evidence of that."

She was shaking her head before I had even finished. "Yes," she said, sadly. "Life is short and you can't afford to waste it with someone like me. " She pulled away from me and stood, her sightless brown eyes filling with tears. "You should leave, Edward. I'm not good for you."

I stared up at her, unable to speak. The conviction that I never wanted to leave her again was still running through me, strong and pure. I mouthed wordlessly at her, knowing that she couldn't see it, but unable to make any sound come out. Tears were pooling in my eyes and I could feel a sob tearing at my throat. Bella wiped a tear from her cheek and sighed.

"Please, Edward," she pleaded, her voice breaking. "Please don't do this to me. I can practically hear the tears in your eyes. You know this is for the best. You know you have to go."

I shook my head furiously. "No," I whispered. "I won't go. I can't go. I love you, Bella, more than anything in the entire world. You are everything to me. I can't do it. I can't separate myself from you again. It nearly killed me the first time. I can't bear to let it happen again. Please. Please don't make me go."

By the time I was finished speaking, I couldn't hold back my emotions any longer. As the tears spilled down my cheeks, every moment of grief, fear, and horror that I had felt since my parents' deaths came crashing down on me and I was suddenly sobbing, my head in my hands. It was the first time I had truly let myself cry and I could feel the sobs tearing out of me, making me tremble.

And then there were soft, gentle fingers running through my hair, holding me tenderly, and rubbing my back in soothing circles. I buried my face in her shoulder and let myself cry, relishing the feeling of her fingers against my skin.

"Shh," she soothed softly. "Everything is alright, Edward. Everything is alright."

She let me cry myself to silence, her hands never stopping their soothing circles and motions. When I was finally composed enough to speak, I sat up and put my arms around her waist, pulling her into my lap.

"I will never let you go again," I whispered, kissing her forehead. I heard her sigh.

"You are impossible, Edward." She stroked my cheek tenderly and smiled. "I'm glad."

I smiled and placed another kiss on her forehead, content, if only for a moment.

"Bella," I said hesitantly, after a few moments of silence. "I…I have a question to ask you."

She smiled up at me. "Go on."

"Well…I, uh, I can't go back to my house." I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks and I was glad that she couldn't see me. "The doctor at the hospital told me that it would be best if I found somewhere else to live for a while..."

"Of course you can stay here, Edward," she said, an amused smile lighting her face. I was suddenly seized with how beautiful she looked, there in my arms, and I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. She put a hand behind my head and held me to her. This kiss was less desperate than the one we had shared before and I could feel the love radiating between us as her lips moved softly against mine. She had never been so desirable to me as she was in that moment.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered, pressing my forehead to hers.

"And I love you." I could hear the emotions burning in her words and I felt my stomach flip-flop.

My world was, once again, perfect.

* * *

**A/N: Another short chapter and for that I am sorry. Next chapter should be a lot more interesting! :D**

**Playlist for this chapter: _Indiana_ by John McLaughlin, _Untitled_ by Simple Plan, _Hymn to the Sea_ from Titanic**

**Thank you for reading and, please, review! Your support is appreciated!**

**Also, I have just come out with a new story called _In Sickness and In Health_ (posted in Twilight) or _Anatomy of a Mystery_ (posted in House MD). It's a Twilight/House MD crossover, though you do not really need to know anything about House to understand it. XD Please, check it out!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - Chicago, October 1918 - BPOV**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Edward or Bella or Twilight. Stephenie Meyer is the genious behind them. I'm just using them for my own devious ends! XD**

* * *

"I stand by what I said before, Bella. We must get out of Chicago while we still can."

I closed my eyes in exasperation. Edward had given the exact same argument every day since he arrived two weeks earlier and I had yet to give in to his demands.

"You have said the same thing at least twice a day for the last two weeks, Edward, and my answer has never wavered." I opened my eyes. "I will not leave Chicago. This is my home, the only home I've ever known. I will not be driven away from it."

Edward sighed and I heard him ruffle his newspaper slightly. I shook my head and returned my attention back to the scarf I was knitting. It was October and, though the daytime temperature was still quite warm, the nights were becoming colder. Edward, having been told not to return to his influenza ridden home, had very few clothes and certainly nothing that would get him through the winter, so I had taken it upon myself to supplement his wardrobe. He could have bought new clothes, but fear prevented him from leaving the house to do so. The horrible deaths of his parents were still fresh in his mind and I could not blame him for his reluctance to interact with the outside world.

Edward's frustration with me was heavy enough to feel in the air, so I lay my knitting aside and coughed very slightly to get his attention.

"Have you spoken to Reverend Fairbanks?" I asked, hoping to take his mind off our disagreement.

"Yes," he said and I heard him fold the newspaper and lay it on the couch beside him. "He says that he is available tomorrow afternoon at one o'clock. He consented to perform the ceremony here, although it was apparent to me that he wasn't very happy about it. He feels that it is against doctrine to perform a marriage outside the sacred walls of the church. I told him that I was sure God would understand given the current state of things, but he remained unconvinced. However, once I had promised him that he would be well paid for the 'trouble' he was going to, he seemed to warm up to the idea considerably and even asked if I would like him to bring the pianist with him to serenade you down the aisle." I could hear the smile in his voice and I laughed.

"How thoughtful of him," I said, gesturing at him to join me. I heard Edward stand and cross the room, his footsteps soft and light against the wooden flooring. A moment later I felt his lips press on my forehead and he slid his arm around me and pulled me close to him. He lifted my hand and allowed me to feel the expression on his face. After sitting a few moments in comfortable silence, I sighed.

"What is it, my love?" Edward asked softly.

I smiled slightly. "Nothing," I said. "I just…I just wonder if we're really doing the right thing. Are you sure this is what you really want, Edward? Are you sure you want to marry me?"

Edward sighed and buried his face in my hair. "You have asked me the same thing at least twice a day for the last two weeks, Bella, and my answer has never wavered." Despite his serious tone of voice I could hear the smile behind his words and I swatted him playfully on the arm.

Edward laughed and put his hands on either side of my face. Knowing what was coming I shivered and closed my eyes as his lips touched mine. It was these kisses that I cherished most of all. His clean, fresh scent surrounded me and I lost myself in the sensations that were racing through my body. Nothing made me feel as alive as Edward's kisses and I felt as if I could spend an eternity wrapped up in the wonderfulness that was him.

When we broke apart, I sighed contentedly and laid my head on his shoulder. I could have stayed in that position for an indeterminate amount of time, but a soft cough from across the room interrupted the peace of the moment. I pulled away from Edward and frowned in the direction that the cough had come from.

"Lunch is ready, Miss Bella," Christine said.

"Thank you, Christine," I said, dismissing her with a wave. As she exited the room, my frown deepened. There was something not quite right about the way she spoke and I could tell that her dainty footfalls were heavier than normal and that one of her feet was dragging the floor as she walked. I turned to Edward, automatically lifting a hand and feeling his expression. I could feel the tension in his muscles.

"Edward..?" I began uncertainly. "What's going-"

I was cut off as Edward abruptly stood and lifted me off the couch and slung me over his shoulder.

"Edward!" I screeched indignantly. "What has gotten into you?"

"Be quiet!" he snapped. He moved as quickly as he could while bearing my weight and I could tell from the jarring steps he took that we were heading up the stairs. I struggled pointlessly against his grip.

"Edward, release me!" I said, pushing against his back with my hands. As I said this, I heard a door open and shut and I was dumped unceremoniously on a soft surface. Feeling with my hands, I realized that it was my bed. I hastily righted myself, rearranged my skirts so that I was sitting in a more dignified position, and glared towards the sounds of Edward moving around the room. I could hear him pulling a trunk out of the closet and then pulling open the various cabinets around my room and hastily throwing things into the trunk. I pursed my lips.

"Edward, what in the world are you doing? Have you gone mad?" My voice shook with anger and I tried to fight back the tears that were welling up in my eyes.

I heard him stop moving for a moment and then the bed sank down as he sat next to me and took my hands in his. They were shaking slightly and I felt a stab of wonder and fear.

"Bella," he said, his voice rough. "We're leaving. Right now. I've been trying to persuade you for two weeks, but I'm not going to try and persuade you anymore. We're leaving Chicago whether you like it or not."

I opened my mouth to argue, but Edward put his hand over my lips I could feel his fingers trembling even more violently.

"No," he whispered. "No, I'm not negotiating. Now gather what you need and put it in your trunk. We're leaving as soon as we can. Please, Bella, please. Just trust me. I'll explain later."

I tried to push his hand away to argue, but something in his voice stopped me. Edward was such a strong person, but there was a deep panicking fear in his voice and I was so taken aback that I found myself nodding and rising to gather what I would need. Edward kissed my forehead and exited the room. Ten minutes later, Edward and I were nestled in a carriage, speeding down the road. Finally, I could stand it no longer.

"What happened?" I asked

Edward sighed and I could hear him run his fingers through his hair. "Christine has influenza," he said gravely.

I gasped and covered my hand with my mouth. "How do you know?"

"Her symptoms are the mirror of my mother's when she first fell ill." His voice broke just slightly at the mention of his mother and he cleared his throat to hide it. "I had to get you out of there."

"What about Christine?" I asked, hotly.

Edward took his time in answering. "I explained it to her while you were packing and I called a carriage to transport her to the nearest hospital," he said softly, but I could hear the sadness in his voice. "But…it's already too late for her, Bella. She started coughing up blood while I was talking to her."

I closed my eyes against the tears that were suddenly threatening to spill over onto my cheeks. "She's like my sister, Edward," I whispered, my voice breaking.

Suddenly his arms were around and he was stroking my face and my hair, soothing me. "I know," he whispered. "I know. I'm so sorry, Bella. Everything will be all right." He continued stroking my hair and buried my face into his shoulder and began to sob. My heart was breaking. Christine had been there for me through so much and I felt as if I was abandoning her in her hour of need. I felt like the lowest of the low.

It took me a long to calm myself, by which time we had nearly made it to the train depot. The carriage rumbled to a halt and Edward helped me step from the carriage. As we slowly made our way into the station a sudden breeze wafted through and I shivered involuntarily. It was warm in the station, overly warm as a matter of fact, but I suddenly wished I had thought to put on a shawl. Edward, who was busy talking to the ticket master, didn't notice the goosebumps that had risen up on my skin. Another breeze swept the depo and I shivered more violently and a wave of nausea broke over me. The smell in the station was awful, like burning leaves and the stink of hundreds of unwashed bodies. I put a hand over my mouth, fighting the urge to throw up, swaying on the spot.

Edward reached out his arms just in time to catch me as my legs gave out.

"Bella!" he shouted, his voice full of panic. "Bella, what's wrong?"

I tried to answer him, but as I opened my mouth the nausea became overwhelming and I began to vomit. Edward didn't release me though I knew the contents of my stomach must have gotten all over him. Instead he turned me over and held back my hair, yelling at someone to call an ambulance. I only heard all this distantly, however, as if Edward were standing at the opposite end of the station instead of holding me in his arms. And as another wave of nausea washed over me and the rushing in my ears got louder, I could feel blackness creeping in on me.

"Edward," I whispered through the heaviness that seemed to have engulfed me. "Edward…I love you…I love…"

And then the blackness took over and I sank blissfully into unawareness.

* * *

**A/N: At long last, I have returned! Don't expect regular updates, but I will try to update my stories here and there when I have time. Please, R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - Chicago, October 1918 - EPOV**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Edward or Bella or Twilight. Stephenie Meyer is the genious behind them. I'm just using them for my own devious ends! XD

* * *

**

_Just get her there…. Just get her there…_

The words streamed through my mind as the carriage bumped along the rough roads of the city. Bella was still unconscious in my arms, but I could feel her pulse threading weakly beneath my fingers. My own heart, in contrast, was pounding with fright. Waves of guilt crashed over me. I had not gotten her out of Chicago in time. I should have insisted that we leave long ago, but it had taken Christine getting sick for me to force Bella's hand. I should have been firmer with her. I had let my love for her and my desire to make her happy cloud my judgment. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, praying to God that Bella would survive and promising him that I would take better care of her if she did. The words sounded hollow, even in my head.

I opened my eyes and glanced down at Bella and felt my pulse quicken. A faint trickle of blood was making its way down the side of Bella's mouth and I frantically wiped it away with my thumb and thumped on the roof of the carriage, urging the driver to hurry. Bella's life was trickling away before my eyes and I was sure that if I could just get her to the hospital, everything would be all right.

It seemed like hours had passed when the carriage finally rumbled to a halt outside of the hospital. I kicked the door open with my foot, breaking the latch, and swung Bella and myself to the ground, staggering slightly under our combined weights. The carriage driver's angry yells followed me as I raced up the steps and through the doors.

The lobby was a mad house. People were pressed together five and six deep around the counter where a couple of young, haggard looking nurses with dead looks in their eyes directed the masses to the proper places. Turning my back on this scene, I hurried past the nurses station to the double doors beyond and pushed my way in, ignoring the nurses cries of astonishment and anger that followed.

A man in a white coat was rushing by and I shifted Bella's weight and grabbed his arm. He swung around to look at me, startled and angry.

"What do you want?" he barked angrily, jerking his arm out of my grasp.

"I'm looking for Dr. Cullen," I said, "What floor is he on?"

The doctor stood back and his eyes traveled over me with the unconscious Bella nestled in my arms. A knowing look crept into his eyes.

"Third floor," he said. "But I wouldn't go there if I were you. Dr. Cullen only takes on the most hopeless cases. If you take her there, she'll only leave through the morgue."

Ignoring him, I dashed for the stairs, flew up them, bursting through the door on the third floor, and stopped to look around the ward. My heart contracted painfully at the sight that met me.

It was obvious, even to my untrained eye, that the people here were as good as dead. Blood soaked sheets and blood filled basins abounded. Sweat glistened off of twenty different faces and a deathly silence seemed to have settled over the room, except for the coughing of the sick and the gasps of the dying. Horror overcame me and I swept the room for the man I had come to find.

He was easy to spot, bent over the bed of a patient who seemed close to passing into the beyond. I made my way through the room toward him and as I came nearer, I got a better look at him. His blond hair was speckled with blood and his white coat was stained. His golden eyes were full of remorse as he held the hand of the patient, a young girl who could not have been more than 8 years old. As I watched, she coughed again and again, spattering Dr. Cullen's coat with even more blood. He did not draw away, however, and pressed a hand to the girl's fevered brow. She gasped a few more times and began coughing uncontrollably. Dr. Cullen held her hand as she coughed and whispered soothing words to her. Horror washed through me as the girl continued coughing, until, finally, she fell back onto her pillow, gasped once more and gave up her fight. I watcher her body shudder once and then the light left her eyes. Dr. Cullen bowed his head and closed his eyes, whispering a prayer. I swayed on the spot, overcome with a wave of dizziness and despair as Dr. Cullen closed the girl's eyes gently and wiped her blood spattered face with a towel. I hoped I had not just glimpsed Bella's future. When the doctor was finished, he looked up.

"Please," I said, my voice breaking. "Help her."

Dr. Cullen nodded and led me to an open bed near the only window in the room, whispering to a nurse as he passed and gesturing to the girl who had just died. I layed Bella on the bed, which was thankfully clean, and sank into the chair next to it, watching as Dr. Cullen checked over Bella carefully. When he was finished, he looked up at me. The look in his eyes terrified me.

"I will do what I can for her, Edward," he said softly, "but that is not much. She most certainly has influenza. Her lungs are already filling with fluid. I will be surprised if she lasts a week."

I was shaking my head before he had even finished. "No," I whispered hoarsely. "No. She's going to survive. You will save her. You must do whatever it takes to save her. She cannot be allowed to…to die. You can do more for her than any other doctor in this hospital. What the others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Bella." I breathed heavily, an odd ringing in my ears.

A flicker of surprise crossed Dr. Cullen's face, but he nodded slightly, as if I had touched upon something that only he understood. I furrowed my brow, shaking my head against the ringing, and wondered what it meant. It was driven out of my mind a moment late, though, when I heard Bella groan.

"Edward?" Her voice was thin and weak, but I nearly collapsed with happiness and relief to hear her speak my name. There was no sweeter music in the world.

"I'm here, Bella," I said softly, taking her hand. She turned her head toward me and her sightless brown eyes fluttered open.

"What happened?" she asked. "What's going on?" I looked to Dr. Cullen, not knowing how to answer. He stepped forward and took Bella's other hand.

"My name is Dr. Cullen," he said softly, "and you are in the influenza ward at Rush University Medical Center."

A look of understanding and fear crossed Bella's face and my heart thudded painfully against my ribs. Dizziness crashed over me.

"Am I…. am I going to die?" she asked and the ringing in my ears grew louder. I could barely hear the doctor's reply.

With a glance at me, Dr. Cullen sighed. "I don't know, Bella. The outlook is not good." Another wave of dizziness crashed over me and I felt my grip on Bella's hand slacken. A sick feeling welled up in my mouth. My vision was swimming, but I saw her frown.

"Edward?" she asked weakly, gripping my hand. "Are you all right?"

I opened my mouth and took a breath to reassure her that I was fine, but a spasm racked my body and I began to cough uncontrollably. I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle the sound.

When I pulled my hand away, it was covered in blood.

* * *

**A/N: I'm back with another sporadic update...and another cliff hanger! *evil laugh***

**Please RnR!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Chicago, November 1918 - CarlislePOV**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Edward or Bella or Carlisle or Twilight. Stephenie Meyer is the mastermind behind it all. I'm just using them for my own devious ends! XD

* * *

**

"Dr. Cullen," the nurse began wearily, "we should not waste our limited supplies on hopeless cases such as these. You know as well as I do that neither of them is going to survive. The sickness is far too advanced to save them now."

I raised an eyebrow at the woman in front of me and folded my arms across my blood-speckled chest. I could smell the unique scent of the twenty patient's blood as well as each of the four nurses currently in the room. The scents, however, were far from tempting me. I knew of no other creature like me in the world that had my ability to ignore the scent of freshly spilled blood.

Our ward, Ward-3A, was only for the most advanced and most hopeless cases of influenza. The mortality rate in this room was 99%. I had had only two patients come out of this room alive since the epidemic began. I did not know why they sent these dying patients to me. I did not know what they expected me to do for these poor dying individuals. I made them as comfortable as I could, but I know it was not enough. It was never enough.

"I know the odds are against them," I said heavily, "but I refuse to let them die without a fight. ALL of these patients deserve the very best care we can give them until they either leave this hospital under their own power or they lose their fight. Give Bella and Edward the antibiotics; that is an order. If the director asks you about it, tell him to come speak with me."

Gloria nodded and turned to the two beds, which had been pushed closer together than most. The occupants, the young man with bronze hair and brilliant green eyes and the young lady with long brown hair and deep brown eyes, were holding hands across the gap. Under my direct orders, the nurses overlooked this breech in propriety. I did not have the heart to separate them.

Neither of them was able to say more than a few words at a time before the coughing fits overcame them, but the few times I did hear them speak it was always words of comfort or love. They spoke of marriage, children, and a life together. They always spoke of what would be, never what should have been. Their optimism and hope and love for one another were what prompted me to give them and all of my patients in Ward-3A a fighting chance.

But reality could not be ignored. They were both losing their battles with influenza. The coughing fits became longer and the time between them less and everyday I grew more conflicted.

Edward had charged me with keeping Bella alive the day he brought her to me. He knew, intuitively, that there were things I could do for Bella, and him as well, that other doctors could never do. Somehow, miraculously, he had guessed the truth.

Whether he knew what to call it or not, Edward had discovered that I was a vampire. He had somehow figured out that I could give them a second chance at life.

I waited until Gloria had finished administering their medicine and approached Edward and Bella's beds. I could tell, immediately, that Edward had taken a drastic turn for the worse. I listened carefully to his lungs for a moment and pursed my lips. His fever was raging, dangerously high. His face was flushed red and his bronze hair was plastered to his forehead. His breathing came in ragged, labored gasps and every few seconds he would be overcome with a fit of coughs.

I knew that now was the time. I had to decide. It was either save Edward…or let him die. Indecision ruled me.

"Doc…tor…"

I raised my gaze to find Bella's sightless brown eyes staring straight into mine. Her breathing was also labored and ragged, but she struggled to speak to me.

"You must….save him," she pleaded, gasping. "He cannot…be…allowed to…die. You must…use…your power…to…save him. I am…begging…you. Please… Save…him."

Something inside of me shifted. And I nodded, taking Bella's warm hand in my ice-cold one.

"I will do everything in my power to save him, Bella," I said softly. "I give you my word."

Bella smiled weakly and nodded, closing her eyes again and letting go of Edward's hand.

"Tell him…that…I…love him."

"I promise. I will." I said. I looked Bella over once, reassuring myself that she would survive until I returned and glanced around the ward. There was only one nurse left on duty. I grabbed a syringe of morphine, hoping it would silence Edward enough so that he would stay still, administered it, and wheeled the gurney over to him. I lifted his battered body onto it and covered him carefully with the sheet from his bed. The nurse, Mary, looked up as I wheeled the gurney past her and shook her head sadly.

"The poor dear," she said softly, glancing back at Bella. "She's not going to last long after this loss."

I nodded sadly and wheeled Edward toward the lift, monitoring his vital signs as I went. His heart was weak and I knew I didn't have much time left to save him. The lift clattered to a halt and opened and I told the bellman to take us to the morgue. He nodded wearily. This was a new bellman, a younger boy than the one whom had always been here.

"Where is Richard?" I asked the boy.

The boy looked down and picked at the buttons on his new uniform. "He died, sir," he said grimly. "Last night. Influenza."

I nodded, sighing inwardly.

When we arrived at the morgue I wheeled Edward down the hall toward the back exit. As I approached the door to the body storage area, the morgue assistant spotted me and approached swiftly and angrily.

"What d'you think you're doin', Dr. Cullen?" he asked angrily. "You got no toe-tag on that one."

"I'm sorry, Franklin," I said, listening to Edward's weak pulse and fluid filled lungs carefully. "I was close to this one. I'm a little shook up. If you don't mind, I'd like to do the report on him."

"Suit yourself," Franklin shrugged. "Less work I got to do."

"Thank you." I watched as he puttered off up the corridor and shut the door to his office. Glancing around to make sure we were alone, I lifted the sheet off of Edward and gathered him up in my arms, cradling him like I would a child. I opened the door quietly, relishing in the cool, fresh night air and the smell of a coming rain, and took off across the hospital courtyard with Edward in my arms.

It was a long journey to my house in the more quiet suburbs of Chicago. There were several times I feared I would lose Edward before we arrived there, but at long last I unlocked the door and dashed inside. I was so rarely at the house, that there was a fine layer of dust on everything and it looked as though no one had lived there in weeks. I took Edward into the never used bedroom, arranged him on the bed, and began to prepare myself. I was far enough from my neighbors that I doubted they would hear him, should Edward begin to scream. I had never changed another person into a vampire and I was not precisely sure how to go about it. I knew that my own transformation had come about after I had been bitten several times, but not drained dry and I decided to recreate my own injuries.

I poised myself over Edward and looked down at him. He was delirious with fever and his pulse had weakened even more. He had only minutes left before it would be too late. I knew that it was now or never. I lowered my lips towards Edward's throat and stopped a few inches above him.

"Forgive me for the pain I am about to cause," I whispered and sank my teeth into his throat, ripping his soft, vulnerable flesh. Again and again I sank my teeth into him. I could feel the venom flowing in my mouth and the frenzy that the human blood set off deep inside me, but I pushed the sensations away, forced myself not to swallow, and focused only on my promise to Bella, my promise to save Edward as only I could. Twenty times I sank my teeth into him, all in less tine than it took to blink. When I was finished I staggered back against the wall and wished that I were able to cry.

And then…the screaming began.

* * *

**A/N: Annnndddd...another cliffhanger (sorta)! XD I know, I know. I'm mean. I'm really inspired tonight to write! I hope this continues. I think I finally know where I'm heading with this story! :D **

**Please, read and review! Even if you just say, I really love/hate this. XD Thanks to all my loyal readers!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Capter 8 - October 1918, Chicago - CarlislePOV/EPOV**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the associated characters, places, dialogue, concepts, etc. Stephenie Meyer does. I am simply using her genius for my own devious ends!**

* * *

**CarlislePOV**

It had been touch and go for a while and I was afraid that I had not made my decision in time, but Edward's heart was still beating and I could already see some changes taking effect. I looked on with as objective an eye as I could, but Edward's desperate screams and cries for Bella were like painful knives through my own dead heart.

I checked to be sure that Edward's restraints would hold him to the bed until I returned. Three hours had passed since I had first bitten him and it was only now that I felt comfortable enough to leave him for a while to retrieve Bella. I glanced over Edward one last time and then shut the door on his gut wrenching screams.

The return trip to the hospital was much faster. I dashed up the stairs as fast as I dared and donned a fresh white coat over my clothes. Sylvia, the night nurse, was just exiting the ward as I entered.

"Have we lost anyone since Mr. Masen passed a few hours ago?" I asked her.

Sylvia shook her head. "But I'd wager we're 'bout to lose a few more," she said sadly, clucking her tongue in pity. "Mr. Thornton will probably go sometime tomorrow and Mrs. Abernathy the next day. Little Miss Swan is your worst off, I'd reckon. I expect she doesn't have more'n an hour left on this earth." She shook her head. "Poor little dear."

I nodded and watched Sylvia go and then dashed into the ward and over to Bella's bed. She had, most certainly, taken a drastic turn for the worse. There was a sheen of sweat over her face and arms and a deathly pallor seemed to have settled over her. Her breathing was shallow and labored and I could hear the fluid rattling with every breath she drew. A blood soaked towel was lying next to her and as I watched she coughed weakly and another trickle of blood ran down her chin. I picked up the towel and wiped it away. Bella opened her mouth and spoke.

"Edward," she said, so softly that even my enhanced hearing had trouble picking it up.

"I kept my promise," I whispered to her taking her fevered hand in mine.

A very small smile graced her lips. She coughed again and gasped. "Thank…you."

I straightened up and looked around the ward. Sylvia was nowhere to be seen. I rushed over to the medicine cart and pulled out three syringes of morphine. I knew I could not move Bella. She was too weak and the journey to my house would kill her if the influenza did not. So I would have to start the change here and then transport her once I was sure she wouldn't die en route. I hoped the morphine would suppress enough of the burning pain of the venom to keep her from screaming too much before I could safely move her.

I glanced around once more to be sure that Sylvia was gone and then injected the morphine. I could hear her heart slow as the drug seeped through her veins. I poised myself over her and lowered my lips to her throat.

"Forgive me, " I whispered. "For the pain I am about to cause."

I sank my teeth into her throat and, for the second time that day, felt the frenzy that the human blood set off deep inside of me. Forcing myself not to swallow, I pulled away from her throat and poised myself to bite again, but a sudden movement near the door caught my eye. I whipped around to see two people standing in the doorway.

"Dr. Cullen…" Sylvia said in disbelief. I could see in my mind's eye the horror of what she was seeing. Bella's throat was bleeding freely with a clear impression of my bite upon it and my mouth and teeth were stained crimson with her blood. Sylvia slid down the doorframe, her eyes wide and disbelieving.

"It's…it's not what you think," I said hoarsely. Sylvia shook her head vigorously. Beside her, the night doctor, Dr. Luther, let out a cry of rage and disbelief and started towards me

"Demon!" he screamed, grabbing a used syringe from the counter. "Creature of Satan! What have you done? Get away from that poor girl!"

I glanced back at Bella quickly. She was white as a sheet and her pulse was even weaker than it had been, practically non-existent, but I knew I didn't have a prayer of getting her out of the room without having to kill both of these innocent people and Bella herself in the process. I had no choice. I dashed past Dr. Luther and Sylvia and fled the hospital.

As I ran, I berated myself over and over again. I had failed. I had failed Bella and I had failed Edward. I could never enter the hospital again and I was not sure that Bella would even survive the change. She had been so weak, weaker than even Edward had been. The venom I had managed to give her might well kill her and I was positive that I had not given her enough to facilitate the change. I wondered if Edward would ever find it in his changing heart to forgive me.

When I arrived at the door of my house I took a deep breath to calm myself. I pushed the door open and the now familiar screams greeted me and I went to check on Edward to see how he was progressing. His heartbeat was strong and clearly audible and I was positive he was out the danger zone. The changes were coming rapidly and I could already see that his skin was whitening.

Sighing I took up a vigil by his bedside and waited for the venom to work it's magic.

* * *

**EPOV**

Burning. I was burning alive. I was baking under the rays of a thousand white-hot suns. I was cooking in the flames of a million degree fire. My flesh was blackened and burned and charred beyond all recognition.

But the burning was not just on the outside. It was inside of me, too. It was in my bones, liquefying them. It was in my veins, vaporizing them. It was in my muscles, blackening them to crisps. The fire was all consuming, inescapable. I was sure that I had died and gone to hell. If the flames raking through my veins, burning me from the inside out were not the punishments of an eternity in hell, I did not know what was.

But then, the fire changed. It rushed towards my heart, converging there. My heart raced valiantly, trying to fend off the consuming flames, but it could not beat them back and finally stuttered to a halt. The shock of feeling my heart stop consumed me for an endless time. Was I dead?

But slowly I became aware of other sensations. I could hear things, things I should not possibly have been able to hear. I could hear the carriages rolling along a road nearby. I could hear a bird under the eave of the roof. I could smell a thousand different smells. I could smell the wood of the room around me and I smell a rabbit somewhere nearby.

But all of these sensations were secondary to the burning, parched feeling I felt in the back of my throat. As I tried to swallow to wet my throat, I heard a small movement and I was instantly aware that I was not alone. I opened my eyes and swung up into a defensive crouch, faster than should have been possible.

"Calm down, Edward," the other said soothingly. "I am not going to hurt you."

I blinked my eyes and relaxed a hair. "Dr. Cullen?" I asked, confused. "What is going on?"

Dr. Cullen was sitting in a chair next to the bed I was crouched on. He looked sad, worried, and alert. His face was impossible to read, but he watched my every movement very carefully. I swallowed hard against the burning in my throat, but the desperate feeling did not lessen. If anything, it intensified. I raised a hand and cupped my throat.

"I have much to explain to you, Edward," he said quietly. "But the most important thing you need to do right now is drink this." He handed me a large, opaque cup with a lid and a straw on it. I could smell the aroma coming from and the parched feeling in my throat intensified. I bounded across the room and ripped the cup from his hands, downing it hastily. The thick liquid slid down my throat temporarily sating the burning feeling in my throat. But as soon as the cup was empty the feeling was back.

"More," I croaked. He handed me another cup and I downed it quickly. Six glasses later and the burning in my throat was not gone, but it was manageable.

"Thank you," I said gratefully. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I glanced down at it and froze. I could see Dr. Cullen tense up, watching me very closely. Slowly, I raised my hand in front of my eyes and examined the liquid on the back of my hand. There was no mistaking that crimson stain. I had just drank seven cups full of blood.

I looked up at Dr. Cullen with dawning horro.

"What have you done to me?" I whispered.

* * *

**A/N: Annnnnnd...Another cliffie! XD Please read and review. I love it when my readers do that.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** So I am sorta kinda back. So much has changed in my life since I last wrote on this story, but I was reading through some of my old fics earlier in the evening and I was inspired to write once again. I always loved the concept for this story and I am thrilled to have inspiration to write it once more. Please enjoy this long LONG overdue chapter of Open the Eyes of My Heart! I would love you if you would review! :D Also, as always, Stephenie Meyer owns these characters and what not. I am just borrowing!

* * *

Dr. Cullen sighed and relaxed slightly. "I saved you," he said simply.

"Saved me?" I said in disbelief. "SAVED me?! I just drank blood! I just guzzled seven cups full of blood like an alcoholic starved for drink and gratefully thanked you for them. And you say you saved me?!"

Dr. Cullen was tense again. "Yes," he said heavily. "I saved you. You were dying, Edward. You were minutes from death. Your heart was failing and you were drowning in your own blood. I promised…I promised Bella I would save you. So I did the only thing I could. I brought you here and I changed you." He paused for a moment and I held my breath, waiting. "I changed you…into a vampire."

The silence was absolute. Neither of us was breathing. I stared at him, trying to make sense of what he had said. My mind tried to process the word he had used. Finally, I could stand it no longer.

"A….a vampire?" I asked incredulously. "But that is im…poss…ible…." And then the reality sank in. I stumbled back onto the bed behind me and stared at Dr. Cullen wishing he could take everything back, but knowing that it was not possible.

"So I am…a…a vampire," I said, stumbling over the word.

A small smile flickered across Dr. Cullen's lips. "Yes," he said. "And so am I. You can call me Carlisle by the way."

I glanced down at my hands, noticing how pale they were. "Do you have a mirror?"

Carlisle disappeared and returned holding a small round mirror in his hand. He handed it to me carefully and I took a deep breath and held it in front of my face. I gasped at the sight of my reflection and the mirror slipped from my grasp. My hand darted out, disconcertingly fast and snatched it before it hit the ground. I looked at Carlisle.

"My eyes," I whispered.

Carlisle nodded. "I know it is shocking to see," he said softly. "But the brilliance will fade with time. They are that bright right now because your human blood still remains in your tissues. This also makes you stronger right now than you will ever be again in your immortal life. It takes approximately a year for the remaining blood to be consumed and for your eyes to mellow down to a lesser color of red and for the newborn strength to fade."

I glanced at his eyes, which were a deep, luminescent gold, and frowned. He seemed to notice my scrutiny because he sighed and ran a hand over his eyes.

"There are many approaches to this life we find ourselves cursed with," he began slowly. "In time, you will learn what way works best for you. I do not expect you to prescribe to my particular brand of vampirism. I would hope that you would respect my feeling of sanctity for human life as long as you and I are together in this afterlife."

Sudden anger surged through me and I threw myself from the bed, lunging for Carlisle's throat. The chair toppled over backwards with our combined weight and the force of my attack carried us through the wall and into a small bathroom. Water sprayed from a broken pipe, soaking us both.

"How dare you ask that of me!" I shouted, clamping my fingers down on his throat, unaware in my rage that I had just come through a solid wall. "You carry me from my death bed, change me into a monster, feed me human blood, and then have the audacity to ask me to respect you?"

Carlisle's mouth worked furiously, but no sound came out. I could hear his bones cracking under the sheer force of my grip, but my enraged mind could not see reason. Small lines and fissures were appearing in his skin under my hand and I squeezed harder, hoping to end the torment that was threatening to engulf me by eliminating the man who had caused it.

And then I heard his thoughts.

_I am a monster. _

Surprised, I jerked my hand back and flew back into the bedroom where I had been just moments before. I stared at Carlisle, who coughed and sputtered, struggling to regain the ability to speak. I could hear that no sound was coming from his mouth, but I could hear every thought as clear as day. And I realized that he had not spoken the desire for respect, but merely thought it. I shook my head furiously, disbelieving, trying to shake Carlisle's thoughts out of my head.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Carlisle go his feet and approached the bedside, rubbing his neck gingerly. I could feel his eyes burning into me and his thoughts had taken on a curious and shocked tenor, but I didn't know what to say and could not give him the answers he sought. Instead, I held my head in my hands and fought the urge to sob.

Finally, he broke the silence.

"You can read my thoughts."

I pressed the heel of my hands against my eyes, hoping to block out the horror that was quickly becoming my life. Without looking at him, I nodded.

Excitement and wonder coursed through Carlisle's mind. His thoughts turned to a vampire named Aro who seemed to have a similar ability, with some slight differences. I pressed my hands harder to my eyes, trying to block these thoughts out. I did not care that I had what Carlisle termed a "supernatural ability". I did not care that I was special or that I was gifted.

And it was in that moment, I remembered why I had been in Carlisle's hospital ward in the first place. Panic coursed through me and I leapt to my feet and quickly tuned my acute senses to the rest of the house, searching for one particular scent, one particular thread of thought. Sensing no one but myself and Carlisle, I turned to him with dread coursing through me.

Carlisle's thoughts had turned wary and he steeled himself for another assault. Panic streamed through me and I searched his mind, desperate for some news, for some hint. I picked up only a small thought, a small feeling, a regret really.

With dread threatening to overwhelm me, I stared into Carlisle's brilliant golden eyes.

"Carlisle….where is….where is Bella? Where is my love?"

And as Carlisle's thoughts turned to Bella's fate and I learned what had become of her, my world shattered and my heart broke in two.

My Bella, my love, the sun in a sunless world, was dead, snatched from me by the cruel claws of influenza. And I, by some cruel twist of fate, had been left to live an immortal life, a cursed life, without her by my side.

Pain ripped through me, and I clawed at my own body, trying to tear my dead heart from my chest. I could hear the regret and the pain in Carlisle's thoughts and I could see the entire sad scene playing out in his head. Grief, soul crushing, mind numbing grief washed over me. I was desperate to escape the pain. Desperate to run away, to deny that it had ever happened.

With Carlisle calling to me and chasing me, begging me to come back, I crashed through the bedroom wall and tore across the city, desperate to escape my pain.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. That is Stephenie Meyers' happy privelege.**

* * *

Colorado – Spring 1919

It had been nearly four months since I had woken to my new life as a vampire. It had been nearly four months since I had learned of Bella's fate and had lost any will I had to live. Life, and particularly eternal life, had no meaning without my love by my side. I had long since come to terms with the cruelty of fate, but it hadn't stopped me from attempting to join her in death in any way that I could. But each attempt failed and each time, I was driven deeper into my own depression and misery.

We had resettled in Colorado about three weeks after my transformation. Carlisle thought that a change in scenery would allow me to begin to heal, to come to terms with Bella's death. But I only ended up resenting him for taking me away from the only place I had known any happiness. I knew that I was not the companion that Carlisle had hoped to have. I could hear the disappointment and frustration in his thoughts. He hid it from me as much as he could, but I could still hear the echoes of it when he let his mind wander. I couldn't blame him. Because of me he could not leave the immediate area. He could not do his life's work as a doctor, he could not even leave me alone for more than a few minutes for fear that I would attempt to kill myself again or that I would run away. I was lethargic, moody, and snapped at the smallest intrusions into my grief. I did only the bare minimum to earn my keep with Carlisle and only ventured from the house to hunt and to continue to improve my control of my thirst and my instincts. I knew from Carlisle that it was impossible to starve myself to death, but that did not stop me from trying. Because of my carelessness there were near misses with the local hunters and outdoorsmen, but my desire to remain undiscovered and to retain what little humanity I had left prevented me from actually killing anyone. I had also secured a promise from Carlisle that we would return to Chicago to visit Bella's grave once I had learned to control my thirst enough to be near humans without instantly wanting to slaughter them all.

It was April before I had perfected my control enough to make the journey. It was a bitter journey eastward and I could hear in Carlisle's thoughts that he was concerned I would not be able to handle seeing proof of Bella's demise. The journey took two days and we arrived in the city just as the sun was setting and the creatures of the night were stirring. The irony was not lost on me as Carlisle and I stalked across rooftops and down dark alleys, checking each cemetery we came across. I was fairly certain she would be close to the hospital, but Carlisle insisted we check our old neighborhood, the church we had both attended, and the public cemetery near the center of the city. I grew more impatient at the distractions. I was drawn closer and closer to the small cemetery near the hospital. I could feel something pulling me there, a magnetic force that would not allow me to alter my course. Ignoring Carlisle's pleas to slow down, I ran, full out, into the small graveyard and to the back corner underneath a small willow tree.

It was there, I found her.

A small, simple headstone with her name, dates of death and birth, and a simple rose etched into the marble were all that identified the remains of the woman who still held my heart, even in death. I sat with my forehead pressed against the stone and wished, more than anything, that I could melt into the earth and join her in death and in peace there in her grave. Seeing the confirmation of what I knew to be true was threatening to unhinge me, as nothing else had.

I don't know how long I sat there, wishing I could die, but something inside of me came unraveled. I dashed past Carlisle, who was keeping watch just outside the cemetery gate, and flew towards the hospital where Bella had died. All rational thought was gone. Every shred of humanity I had managed to retain was stripped away. For the first time since my transformation, I was glad I was strong and deadly. I wanted super strength. I wanted inhuman agility. For the first time, I wanted to be a vampire.

That was the night I took my first human life.

* * *

**A/N: My apologies for the short chapter. There was more that I wrote at the end, but it didn't flow well with this bit, so I had to split them up. This is a bit of a filler chapter. Next chapter is where it gets interesting! Please read and review! Reviews means faster updates!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bella, Edward, or any of the others. I'm just using them for my own devious ends. XD**

* * *

**Forks, Washington – Jaunary 2005**

"Come on, Edward. Emmett's ready to go."

I cringed as Alice's bell like voice broke my silent reverie. I had been a million miles away, in another time and another place, reliving happier, simpler times. Grudgingly, I pulled myself up off of the couch and switched off the stereo which had been playing softly in the background. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. I could hear Alice and the rest of my siblings talking on the ground floor, but I did not feel like joining them until I absolutely had to.

It had been this way for the better part of 86 years. Hunt, daydream, play piano, listen to music, daydream some more, go to school when it was in session or when I felt like it, interact minimally with my family, watch the sunset, start the process all over again. There wasn't a day that went by that I did not think of and mourn the loss of Bella.

Carlisle had tried, so many times, over the years to help me find peace with my life and with Bella's passing. He had been patient and understanding, accepting me back when my grief had pushed me beyond my humanity and driven me to live as a normal vampire lives, on human blood. I had always come back. THe bloodshed would one day become too much and I would attempt another fruitless suicide before heading back to Carlisle and begging him to forgive me. He had never tunred me away.

Carlisle had added members to our family over time, five to be exact: Esme, Carlisle's mate and my adoptive mother, and the others, Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Alice, my adoptive siblings. We had also met and bonded with our cousins in Alaska, the Denali sisters, Tanya, Kate, and Irina. I loved each of them in their own way and they had each, over the years, done their best to help me cope with my grief. Esme, who knew of grief and loss more so than any of the others, was of particular comfort to me and we had spent many a long evening discussing death and grief and ways in which to cope with it. But the reality was that I simply had no reason or will to live in a world without the one I loved.

I had long since given up attempting to take my life. More than 600 failed suicide attempts had taught me that I was not so easy to kill and now, with Alice on the lookout, I could never get away with contemplating it anyway. I lived solely for my family and for the thrill of hunting down wild game with my brothers. I attended high school several times over and I had 8 bachelor's degrees and 4 master's degrees to my name in a variety of subjects and fields. I had even managed to earn a medical degree, though I had never perfected my self-control enough to practice at a hospital as Carlisle did. I lost myself in distraction after distraction, attempting to block the pain. Most days, I was successful. Others, I could do nothing more but stare out the window and try to empty my brain.

Sighing, I opened my door and dashed down the stairs. Emmett and Jasper were standing near the door, clearly anxious to leave. I flashed them a small, apologetic smile.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

"Only about two hours ago," Emmett grumped.

I shrugged and stalked past him to the front porch. "Where are we headed?" I asked, ready to lose myself in the hunt. I glanced back at Alice, whose face had gone blank.

"We should be able to hunt safely if we go east," she said after about a minute of searching the future. "I don't foresee any issues that way."

I nodded, seeing the vision in her head as she saw it. "Let's get moving then." I turned to Emmett and elbowed him in the ribs. "I bet I get the first kill."

Emmett grinned. "In your dreams, Eddie. You only wish you had my skills."

I took off running before Emmett had a chance to finish his sentence. I could hear him roaring his displeasure behind me, but I had always been the fastest and he didn't have a prayer of catching me. I taunted him for a while, allowing him to pull ahead of me a couple of times, but I soon lost myself in the pure joy of being able to run as far and as fast as I wanted without ever having to stop and without ever getting tired. It was one of the few joys of being a vampire.

It took us about an hour to reach our destination, near Mount Rainier. As I waited for my siblings to catch up, I climbed the tallest tree I could find and surveyed the nearby forestland, looking for what would become my first kill of the day. I spotted a few bears near a small creek, fishing for salmon, but decided to leave them for Emmett. I could hear a den of mountain lions to my south, but it sounded as if it were a mother and her two cubs and I was loathe to end such young lives, even those of mountain lions.

As I lost myself in the thrill of finding game, I suddenly smelled a scent wafting at me on the stout breeze. I jumped from the top of the tree and dashed as fast as I could towards where I could hear my siblings just coming into the park. I came to a stop just in front of Emmett. He grinned at me and then, seeing the look on my face, immediately sank into a defensive crouch.

"What it is?" Jasper asked, taking stock of the situation. A calming wave descended over all of us and I shook my head, trying to clear the slight panic the scent had brought on.

"Take a whiff," I said through my teeth. I watched as each of them sniffed the air and immediately tensed. Alice closed her eyes briefly and I caught a fleeting image of dark hair and pale skin before it disappeared.

"Looks like a loner," she said, her brow furrowed in frustration. "And it looks like they want to avoid us."

"Fine by me," Emmett said through his teeth. "I've got no patience for human killers today."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and smacked him on the arm. "What are you going to do, Emmett? Attack them? We don't know who this vampire is or what kind of abilities they may have. Let's just do our hunting and leave them alone. Edward, can you hear them?"

I furrowed my brow and cast around for any foreign minds. The only thoughts I could hear, though, were my own and my sibling's.

"I don't hear anything," I said, frowning. "Let's just do some hunting and then get out of here."

The rest of my siblings nodded in agreement and melted back into the trees, intent on their own pursuits. I closed my eyes and listened for the steady heartbeat and the soft, padded footfalls that would tell me where a mountain lion was located, while still keeping my mind tuned for any unfamiliar thoughts. A breeze ruffled the pine needles around me and I relished in the clean, fresh, vampire free burst of air. It seemed whoever had been stalking these woods had moved on.

We hunted for the remainder of the daylight hours, each taking our fill of the game we could find. Emmett was most successful, bagging himself three bears and a small doe. I grinned as he good naturedly ribbed me and we were all in high spirits. We started making our way back towards Forks, laughing and joking with one another. I kept my speed down, wanting, for once, to spend some time with my siblings.

We had been running for about twenty minutes when the vision hit Alice without warning

Jasper was at Alice's side in an instant, begging to know what she had seen. She gasped as she hit the ground. I caught myself on a tree, ripping a sizable chunk out of the center, and fell to my knees as waves of pain crashed over me. I glanced up at Alice and could see that she did not know the significance of the vision, only that it was causing me intense amounts of pain. She reached a hand towards me.

"Edward," she cried. "Edward what is it? Who is it?"

I gritted my teeth, too hurt to answer, but was interrupted when a tree branch snapped to our left. Five pairs of eyes turned to the newcomer and Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper all dropped into a defensive crouch. Jasper growled menacingly at the small female vampire crouched before us. My mouth fell open in utter shock, unable to believe what my eyes and brain were telling me was true.

She was small and thin and had flowing brown hair that reached towards her waist in long luscious waves. I longed to run my fingers through it. The smooth lines of her face and the gentle curve of her jaw were tense and her back was curved in a defensive position. Her eyes were closed and she had her left palm pressed flat against the ground. As I watched, she breathed in once and shuddered and I longed to put my arms around her and comfort her, warm her, keep her safe. Shaking myself out of my stupor, I took a tentative step forward, her name on my lips.

"Bella," I whispered, my voice wavering. I saw her eyelids flutter and caught a glimpse of strange amber eyes.

Alice gasped as another vision came, giving me a second's warning before Bella attacked.

* * *

**A/N: DUN DUN DUN! Cliffie! Please read and review! I've been getting tons of faves and follows on this story but no reviews. Just tell me you like it or kick my butt to update. But please, REVIEW! Reviews make my world go 'round.**


End file.
